24 April 2013

Torn

I'm torn.

Somedays I want to tell you to go fuck yourself for leaving me. That you told me you wouldn't leave me. But that is exactly what you did. You left and I am devastated. I don't know what to do. I'm so lost and all the dreams I had of us staying together and buying a house and really settling down are gone. On these days I want to tell you that someone will come along and I will forget you. You will become someone I refer as someone I thought I loved.

Then there are days when I want to get on my knees and beg you to take me back. To apologize over and over for the mistakes I made. To try and make you see how much I need you.

And then I realize that even though you say you care about me and still want me in your life some way, I know deep in my heart you have walked away and aren't looking for me anymore. You've already started to forget me. I bet you don't regret leaving me here. I guess you are happy with the way things turned out.

Me, I don't know what to do. I'm so lost without you. I keep trying to put on a brave face, but inside I'm slowly dying.

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