26 April 2011

Work and Social Anxiety

The last few days I have pondered what to write in my blog. I guess its gonna be about work and me.

Recently I have noticed that I truly starting to hate working on the floor at work. Working on the floor means working out with the customers that come in. Right now is a slow time for us at work so I get pulled from the stock room to ring customers up or talk to them on the floor. I hate it. I don't like talking to people who don't want to talk to me, they want to look around. But its my job to talk to them anyways. I try to make it as painless as possible but god, I can't take it much longer. I love working in the stock room part. I know if I was still on meds for anxiety I could do this. But no health insurance, no meds.

See, I was diagnosed with Social Anxiety among other things. I don't like people much. Never have really. I mean I'm fine most of the time. Uncomfortable sometimes even with people I know. I sometimes have to leave a room full of people to go be alone. Just cause I need to be able to breathe. The bigger the crowd the more I tend to head for a corner, put my back up against a wall and all that. Even knowing that I'm like this I still have to walk away sometimes. I can't really explain it. I just know that I do better in smaller groups then in large gatherings. I can sometimes fake it really well. Most people that know me don't know I have anxiety with people. I was always the one at the party who ended up running the stereo to get away from everything.

So yeah, I'm looking for work again, just to get away from people. Factory type is best, since I don't have to deal with customers. Sucks, but because I like the people I work with.

1 comment:

  1. I'm sorry you're having a tough time, dear. I hope you can find something that fits what you're needing. ((hugs))