Depression

Yes, I have suffered from Depression. I really had no way of explaining what I felt when I was depressed. Until now. A wonderful blog post that a couple of friends on Facebook posted the link to. I read it and she described what I felt like. I had never put it into words but this explains it. Here is the quote.

"The beginning of my depression had been nothing but feelings, so the emotional deadening that followed was a welcome relief. I had always wanted to not give a fuck about anything. I viewed feelings as a weakness — annoying obstacles on my quest for total power over myself. And I finally didn't have to feel them anymore.

But my experiences slowly flattened and blended together until it became obvious that there's a huge difference between not giving a fuck and not being able to give a fuck. Cognitively, you might know that different things are happening to you, but they don't feel very different.

Which leads to horrible, soul-decaying boredom."

Wow, I just am blown away by how accurate this is. I wish no one ever had to experience this.

Here's the link to the blog. Hyperbole and a Half