Questions

So, since the breakup I have been doing a lot of soul searching. What makes me happy? What am I passionate about? What do I love? Who am I? Right now I still have no answers to any of these questions. Well, actually I do have a few things that make me happy at times. Things like Tae Kwon Do, Jiu Jitsu, and good friends.

As for the rest I am still trying to figure it out. I know that part of my problems stem from all the bull shit I'm going to have to wade through in Therapy. So far I like going to Therapy. It's nice to talk to someone who really listens and comes up with something I hadn't thought of before. So that's good for me.

I don't think I've ever been really passionate about much of anything. I'm not sure what that means or what it would feel like. As for what I love, well I did (Still do) love Cheryl but that's over so I need to let her go. But what else do I love? I guess maybe my dogs. But that's not really what I mean I guess. I mean what do I love? Is it something material or something intangible? I really have no clue.

As for who I am, I have no idea. I don't guess I've ever really figured it out. Maybe through Therapy I will start to figure it out. I dunno. I think it is why I feel so lost. I don't have any idea who I am.

Douchebag is dead!

On 11 SEP 2001 we were all stunned by an evil terrorist attack on our country. I remember sitting at home, I had just logged on to the Internet and one of our friends from overseas said, "You need to turn on your TV now." So we did and we watched in horror at the second plane hitting the second Tower. We continued to watch as the buildings came down, the reports of the pentagon being hit and yet another plane crashing in Pennsylvania. I remember wondering just how many planes were going to be used as a weapon.

As the Tower came down I remember saying, "Oh my God, all those Firefighters." You see I was a Firefighter myself in a small town volunteer FD and I knew that those men of FDNY were in them. I also worked at E911 as a dispatcher. Just two days after those attacks we got many calls from concerned citizens wanting to know if we were under attack again. You see my hometown is a low level flight path for training of the military. Everyone became concerned when F-16s go screaming over town on a training flight. Not as if the military hasn't been doing this for years or anything. We loved it as kids to run outside and watch them go screaming over. It was awesome! Back in those days it was A-7s that went over. But as a 911 Dispatcher I had to assure them that it was just training. I also remember watching the TV for days hoping to see some survivors pulled from the rubble at Ground Zero. 

I remember the stunned feeling after all this that someone could do this to us. Then it came out that Osama Bin Laden (Douchebag#1) and his al-Qaida flunkies were responsible. I have never wanted to kill anyone as bad as I wanted that asshole dead.

Now, as of 1 May 2011 we finally are able to kill that fucker. I could not be more thrilled about that. I have never been happy about someone dying but this time, this time I am thrilled. Will killing him stop the terrorism? No, it won't. But to finally kill them man who planned it and was happy about people dying, that makes me very happy. So hats off to our Military for pulling this one off. We love you and thank you from the bottom of our hearts.