My theme song - What Hurts The Most

"What Hurts The Most"

I can take the rain on the roof of this empty house
That don’t bother me
I can take a few tears now and then and just let them out
I’m not afraid to cry every once in a while
Even though going on with you gone still upsets me
There are days every now and again I pretend I’m ok
But that’s not what gets me

What hurts the most
Was being so close
And having so much to say
And watching you walk away
And never knowing
What could have been
And not seeing that loving you
Is what I was tryin’ to do

It’s hard to deal with the pain of losing you everywhere I go
But I’m doin’ It
It’s hard to force that smile when I see our old friends and I’m alone
Still Harder
Getting up, getting dressed, livin’ with this regret
But I know if I could do it over
I would trade give away all the words that I saved in my heart
That I left unspoken

What hurts the most
Is being so close
And having so much to say
And watching you walk away
And never knowing
What could have been
And not seeing that loving you
Is what I was trying to do

What hurts the most
Is being so close
And having so much to say
And watching you walk away
And never knowing
What could have been
And not seeing that loving you
Is what I was trying to do

Not seeing that loving you
That’s what I was trying to do

(RASCAL FLATTS lyrics are property and copyright of their owners.)

Lost

I don't know what to do.

I thought that we would be together the rest of our lives. But now that she is gone I don't know what to do. I'm so lost without her. I don't want to be alone.

I still can't believe she just gave up on me. If you love someone aren't you suppose to not do that? I know I'm a mess but you don't give up on someone you are suppose to love.

I hate this.

Hate it so bad

What am I suppose to do?

Torn

I'm torn.

Somedays I want to tell you to go fuck yourself for leaving me. That you told me you wouldn't leave me. But that is exactly what you did. You left and I am devastated. I don't know what to do. I'm so lost and all the dreams I had of us staying together and buying a house and really settling down are gone. On these days I want to tell you that someone will come along and I will forget you. You will become someone I refer as someone I thought I loved.

Then there are days when I want to get on my knees and beg you to take me back. To apologize over and over for the mistakes I made. To try and make you see how much I need you.

And then I realize that even though you say you care about me and still want me in your life some way, I know deep in my heart you have walked away and aren't looking for me anymore. You've already started to forget me. I bet you don't regret leaving me here. I guess you are happy with the way things turned out.

Me, I don't know what to do. I'm so lost without you. I keep trying to put on a brave face, but inside I'm slowly dying.